As many of you know, I work in Downtown Wichita, and have for several years now. Because of this, I've seen my fair share of people who are, interesting and just a tad bit crazy, to say the least. You never know what you'll see from day to day while working in this area of Wichita.
Let me explain...
POOPERS:While working at a prior location, we learned to be careful as to where we walked when we left the building, because one homeless gentleman in particular decided the outside premises of our building was a free for all toilet for him to use anytime he wished, and did he ever make a lot of use out of that commode. We would be warned by our Security Guard that *Poopin' Pete* had returned, and to watch our step if we were to go outside. By the way, we didn't really call him that name, but it seemed fitting, and I always wished we would have, I think he would have appreciated the fact that we noticed him enough to give him a nickname... but I digress. After what seemed like many months of *watching our step* outside, the occurances stopped. We never knew what happened to him; if he found another building premise to occupy, or if he found a whole in the ground to occupy, but we were thankful he had moved on, regardless!
DANCERS:Just last week, I was visited by what I have to assume was a retired male exotic dancer. Let me explain the setup. My office faces the street, and the wall that seperates me from the outside is glass from floor to ceiling. While minding my own business, I heard someone knocking on the glass wall trying to get my attention. I looked up at what I can only describe as a half dressed, overweight, middle-aged man, who had to be inebriated, or trying to recapture his youthful exotic dancing days. Once I was looking, he decided to press himself up against the glass wall, and dance around, rather violently, all the while *french kissing* the glass wall. As I was watching this, I couldn't help but hear the song from ABBA, "Dancing Queen", running through my head. I turned around so as not to encourage him, and he stopped dancing thankfully, however, you can still see lip and tounge prints on my glass wall today. I'm bringing Windex to work tomorrow! I wished now I would have had the thought, and guts to get up and *Party Boy* the window where he was, just to see his expression, but I'm ready now if and when he returns! I can't lie - it was hilarious to watch, and to think someone would have the guts to do something like that!
& PRIVATES: OH MY...I work for the State of Kansas: Unemployment Division. When people need help filing for Unemployment, they come see me. A couple weeks ago, an older gentlemen who was, I would assume, unaware as to how short his shorts were, decided to come file for unemployment. He sat down in a chair facing me, and we started filing his unemployment claim. After a couple of minutes, I glanced over at him while I was talking to him, and found him scratching his upper thigh. This caused his already short shorts, to become shorter, therefore revealing his, um... privates. I immediately looked away, and thought, "How do you not know that you're 'hanging out'", for lack of a better word! I hurried up and finished filing the claim for him, got him gone as soon as possible. I've learned a couple of lessons from shorty shorts guy... 1. Always, under any and every circumstance, wear underwear! 2. Look in the mirror before leaving my house!
I have a feeling this isn't going to be the last post I write about weird happenings here at work, and downtown, and I can't honestly say I'm sad about that, it definitely keeps things interesting, well except, I could go forever without someone else showing me their jiggly bits, but that's besides the point! Stay tuned, you never know when something crazy's going to happen, and I'll be sure to blog about it all!
